The Ski Trip
by JanneW
Summary: I was not letting my head get crazy by her without getting anything. I was not going to convince myself that all those little incidents weren't flirting. And alcohol and a twin bed in a separate room might be a dangerous combination.
1. Chapter 1

**I was writing a story under the same name, with Emily and Spencer as protagonists, but as the story proceeded, I felt like it would be better with Alison and Emily. So I deleted my other story and decided to start over again. So to those who had already read _The Ski Trip_ : The chapters I had already out will basically be the same, only with some minor changes because I'm using different charachters.  
This story is based on real my real life, hope you enjoy ! **

* * *

I sighed as I stepped out of the train, mentally preparing myself for a few days of pretending everything was great, and some minor lies. I gripped my suitcase a bit tighter and started walking towards the car that I recognized as my mom's. I waved and smiled at her, before I opened the trunk and threw my stuff in. Then I moved to the passenger's seat and got in the car.

"Hey mom !", I said as cheerily as I could.  
"Hey Emily !", my mom returned in a happy tone, "so how did your last exam go ?"  
I almost started laughing sarcastically at what she said, but contained myself, and got into the first lie of the evening. "It went quite good, though it was difficult. I just picked a question that I didn't prepare very well, so that sucked, but that's how oral exams go."  
"Yeah that's the risk you take of course. What language was it again ? Spanish ?"  
I just nodded. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Just think about the holidays, you have now more than a week free. You really deserved that after studying so hard for more than a month."  
She sounded so overjoyed. I wished I really had already holidays, but that was my own stupid fault. I just played along and pretended to be excited.

When I arrived at home, my dad pulled me into a hug. "Finally holidays huh?", he grinned as he pulled away and I smiled back as widely as I could. "Yeah, I'm finally free", I joked as I kicked my shoes off and went into the kitchen.  
"What's for dinner ?"  
"Well I figured there was something to celebrate, so I made your favourite: Pasta Bolognaise.", my mom smiled at me.  
I cringed for what seemed the thousandth time today. It felt so bad having to lie about this. Not that I never lie to them, I do it all the time, but now it just sucked that they were celebrating something that wasn't to be celebrated – yet. There was nothing I could do about it though, so I just kept my game up. "Ooh that's awesomeee ! Thanks mom !".  
She chuckled. "Dinner is in five, so don't go too far."  
I just stayed in the living room and pulled out my phone. I went to the Facebook Messenger app and looked at the ongoing conversation in the group chat of the freshmen of my student club.

Translatio, god I was so happy that I had decided to join that club in the beginning of the year. I had met the president of it a few weeks before school started, and she had easily convinced me into joining. Not that I needed much of a conviction – I wanted to join _a_ club, and Translatio was the one specifically for students of Applied Linguistics, which I was.  
And it had been nothing but awesome. I met so many great people, and it was easy becoming friends with them since we had to work together to get through "the baptism". For some reason getting all filthy, being obliged to eat cat food and drinking until you have to throw up several times really creates a bond.

There was nothing interesting going on, so I started to type: **Emily:** _Pfff, just got home and my parents are celebrating 'the end of the exams'. This sucks.  
_ Because there were about 20 people in the chat, there was always someone online. It didn't take long before I got a response.  
 **Tim:** _Lollllll_  
 **Tim:** _Your life sucks_  
 **Toby:** _Well, you could always tell them the truth xxx  
_ **Emily:** _Fuck you Toby  
_ **Toby:** _Lol, don't forget you have to put up with me for a whole week  
_ **Emily:** _Yeah, biggest mistake of my life.  
_ **Tim:** _Ooooooh, shots fired  
_ "Dinner's ready !", my mom yelled. "Coming !", I answered as I got up and went to the dinner table.

"So, what are your plans for the rest of the week ? When do you leave ? Saturday ?", my mom asked as I put a fork of pasta in my mouth. I took my time to chew, going over my story one last time. I couldn't afford screwing up.  
"I'm leaving Friday at 6PM, as I've told you several times", I chuckled lightly. "But I'm going back to my dorm room at like Wednesday evening or something already."  
"Wednesday ? Why ? Are you going to take your whole suitcase to your dorm ?", my dad asked, a bit confused.  
"Yeeeeah, you see, someone from the club kinda organized a party to celebrate the end of the exams on Wednesday. I want to go and it would be really stupid to come back Thursday, just to go to Philly once again on Friday, no ? So I figured I could just stay there." I felt so unbelievably stupid for saying that lie, it even started to be a bit humorous. I mean, who says they're going out, while in fact they are going to freakin' study ? It's supposed to be the other way around, this is like the world upside down.  
"Oh, okay. I guess you have a point."  
"So wait, you're leaving Wednesday, and we won't see you again until after your holiday ?", my mom asked.  
"Yeah, something like that", I half-smiled.  
"And how are you going to get to the airport, all by yourself ?"  
Finally there was something that I could answer honestly. "Don't worry mom, I'm just going to take the bus to Toby's, he lives in Philly, and his mom didn't mind driving me to the airport.  
"Oh, well, okay". She kept quiet for a moment, probably thinking of things I had forgotten, but didn't seem to find something. "I guess that's fine then".  
I silently let go of the breath I had been holding during the conversation. Thank god they believed the whole story and went with it. The hardest part of the whole 'operation' had been conquered.

* * *

The rest of the evening went normal. I sat in the couch, roaming through Instagram and talking in the group chat. Suddenly, I got a notification from the group chat named "SKI HOLIDAYS MOFO". It was a chat that the four of us made after we heard of the ski plans Translatio had, a few months ago. The club had organized a ski trip in April, during the holidays. I really wanted to join, but my parents didn't allow me as we were going skiing with our family that week.  
Luckily for me, I wasn't the only freshman that wanted to go, but couldn't. Hanna, Toby and Alison were having the same problem. We started talking about it, and from one thing came another: we decided to go with the four of us at another time. After the exams of the first semester, begin February, we had a week off before classes started again, and we decided then would be a great time.  
Looking back, it had been kind of a rash decision. Certainly in regard to Toby. But too late is too late and the only thing there was to do, was to make the best of it. And that was what I was going to do too.

I opened the chat and saw Alison's name popping up.  
 **Alison:** _Hey you guys, what's our plan regarding alcohol ? Are we just gonna buy everything here or ?  
_ I smiled at myself. Of course Alison would be the first one to think about alcohol. I heard another ping and saw and answer from Toby – _that guy is always online_.  
 **Toby:** _I suppose we could take some bottles from here, France is expensive  
_ **Toby:** _But don't forget_ _that our bus makes a stop at that store  
Riiiiight_, I thought, _this is going to be awesome_. The organization we went with, had fixed a bus to take us from the airport to the apartments, and that bus stopped at some store the organization owned where cheap liquor was sold.  
 **Emily:** _I'd say we take some from here, like whatever fits in the suitcase, and then we buy the rest in that store  
_ **Emily:** _There is no such thing as too much alcohol right ?  
_ **Toby:** _loll true  
_ **Alison:** _I still got a bottle of Passoã, I'll bring that  
_ **Toby:** _I think I've got_ _some bottles of white wine  
_ **Emily:** _Oeeeeh nice, I'll go get some bottles of champagne !  
_ **Hanna:** _I'VE GOT 2 BOTTLES OF APPLE LIQUOR !  
_ Classic Hanna, not really participating in the chat, except when she's excited – like over apple liquor.  
 **Hanna:** _THEY ARE MY BABIEEEEEEESSSS  
_ **Emily:** _Okay Hanna, we get it, calm the fuck down_

As we were all quite excited for the holiday, the conversation kept on going, and we found ourselves talking about the practical stuff.  
 **Hanna:** _Hey Em, you booked our apartment right ? What is it like ?  
_ **Emily:** _Uhmm, I'm not sure but I think there were three beds in the living room, and one double bed in a separate room  
_ **Toby:** _Outch I'm so claiming the double bed !  
_ **Alison:** _Like hell you are  
_ **Alison:** _Emily and I claimed it months ago, so we could spoon  
_ **Emily:** _Can confirm !_

I couldn't help but smile when I saw Alison type that. I had buried my crush on her some months ago, but I couldn't help but think – or hope - _something_ would happen on holiday. I sighed as I thought back to October and November. All these little things that happened during those months, these things that made my heart flutter and my head fill with hope. And then that one day at the end of November, where she crushed my heart like it was a cookie in the hands of a toddler – but she didn't know any of this.  
I sighed again, deeper. That one sentence she said that day haunted me. Everything she did – and had done – that made me think she might like me in that way, became overshadowed by that stupid sentence. But this trip was going to be different. This trip was letting go of everything for a week, no worries, no problems. We were all going there without limits.

Maybe that crush wasn't as buried as I let myself believe, but what the hell. I was _not_ letting my head get crazy by her without getting _anything_. I was _not_ going to convince myself that all those little incidents weren't flirting. And alcohol and a twin bed in a separate room might be a dangerous combination.


	2. Chapter 2

"Is it okay if I just come with you after class ? We can go to the store to buy snacks, have dinner and I could drop my stuff at your place before we leave.", she asked while giving me her classic Alison smile. It reached from ear to ear and her beautifully shaped teeth were bare.

"Yeah sure thing", I smiled back at her, "so your mom thinks you're just staying over ?"  
"Yeah, if I said we were going to pull and all-nighter watching movies, she wouldn't have let me go", she chuckled while looking directly in my eye – _god_ I liked her.

Some club from the university organized a movie night, literally. They were going to play movies throughout the whole night, until like 6 am, and then there was a free breakfast for those who had managed to stay up – and that's what Alison and I were going to do.  
Before I could answer, the professor came in and everybody shut up, so he could start his class.

About two hours later, Ali and I found ourselves on our way to the supermarket. I shivered as the cold October air seemed to penetrate my body. Neither of us were talking, and I let my mind wander to places they shouldn't.  
There were several friends going to the event tonight, but still Ali asked _me_ if she could drop her stuff at _my_ dorm. I couldn't help but hope there was more to it. I've tried comparing how she acts around me with how she acts around other friends, and it is different. True, she is a flirt, but the flirting she does with me is about five times worse than the flirting she does with others. So I couldn't help but playing with the possibility that she likes me.  
We knew each other for only like a month, but there was a strong connection that made it seem as if we had known each other for years. Meeting her sort of felt like coming home, in a literal sense of the word. We both came from a small town, we both were quite active there, and we both liked to go to the small, dirty parties in our towns. The ones where the floor was a wet mess of all the beer that had been spilled, and where you were obliged to take a shower after because your legs had mud on them and your face was the result of an aggressive fight between you and a friend with fluorescent paint.

I suddenly felt a stream of warmth flowing over me, and realized we had just arrived in the store. I brought my head back into reality and looked at Alison. "So what do you want to have for dinner ?"  
"Uhm, nothing too big, or we won't be able to eat all the candy we're about to buy", she laughed.  
"Good point, what do you have in mind ?", I've never been the decisive one, certainly not towards Alison.  
"What… abouuuut…. noodles ?", she quirked an eyebrow upon seeing the food while we were walking past.  
"Sounds good to me", I answered and took a package of noodles.  
We ended up roaming through the supermarket for more than an hour, looking for food and drinks for the night. We had everything: something salty, something sweet, something thirst-quenching and something that would keep us awake.

After paying, we went to my dorm to cook the noodles and drop the stuff we wouldn't need. As the food was cooking, Ali and I were sitting on a chair in the kitchen that I shared with seven other people.  
"Okay so, you have to tell me. How come your brother has a dorm room and you don't ?", I asked her.  
"Well, my parents first want me to do a year without dorm, and if my grades are good, I'm allowed to take a dorm as well. It's not _that_ terrible though, I have a good relationship with my brother, I can always stay over whenever I want to go out here in Philly."  
"Oh I see", I was fighting the urge to ask another question, one that was keeping me busy much more than the fact her brother has a dorm room and she doesn't. I gave up the fight with my mind and decided to ask anyway. "So eh, why didn't you go there tonight ?", I tried to keep my voice as casual as possible.  
"Well he's not going to the event, so I thought I shouldn't bother him. I mean, you were going so it was a lot easier to just chill here, right ?"  
I wasn't sure if I was satisfied with her answer, but I didn't want to ask anything further. "Yeah, sure", I answered as I got up and took a look if our food was ready yet.

* * *

We ate, and then went on our way to the movies. We were a bit too late, the first movie had already started when we arrived. Nevertheless, there was a welcoming committee waiting for us to give us information. There were four different rooms, and each played another genre of films. There was a room for feel-good movies, one for comedy, one for horror and one for brain-breakers. After each movie, there was a pause so you could switch rooms if you wanted to. Throughout the night, five movies were played in each room, and if you managed to watch at least three, you got free breakfast (when you entered a room, someone marked a piece of paper and you only got the breakfast if you had at least three marks).

Alison and I decided to watch Forrest Gump (which had already started) in the feel-good room, as I'd never seen it and Ali claimed it was a hole in my culture. The rest of our friends hadn't arrived yet, so the decision was easily made.  
"This is going to be so embarrassing", I sighed as I thought about going in in the middle of a movie.  
"Lol yes probably. Let's go", she basically shoved me into the room and started laughing.  
"Shh", I hushed her as my eyes were adjusting to the lack of light. But Ali's laugh was so contagious I couldn't help but start giggling too. We hobbled forward to nearly the last row of seats and sat down next to each other while trying to contain our laughter. Luckily, the movie wasn't that far, so I could easily catch up on the story. We made ourselves comfortable, and I couldn't help but notice Alison's leg touching mine.  
 _"It's just innocent, there's not much space for legs so it's only logical we are touching",_ I convinced myself. I didn't _want_ to think something else of it, I would only end up heartbroken.

After about an hour, I started to wonder why this movie was played in the "Feel-good room", seeing that I had gone through three crying sessions already. Something else that bothered me was Alison's leg that was still pressed against mine. I wandered my eyes from the screen to our touching body parts. My mind started to go through all sorts of _what if_ 's. _What if she's doing this on purpose ? What if not ? What if she is and I do nothing about it ? What if she is and I do anything about it ? But what if she isn't and I make a move ?_

Suddenly there was a loud gunshot in the movie, which made Alison grasp and take my hand in hers. I jolted up, my train of thoughts interrupted as I tried to take in what the _fuck_ just happened. I blinked a few times, sort of trying to make sure I wasn't dreaming, as I looked up at our hands, which were now intertwined. I tilted my head to find her gaze, trying to keep a straight face.  
"Oh my god, that shot scared the shit out of me", she laughed and looked me in the eye. _Damn. Why does she always have to be so casual. I'll never figure her out._  
I chuckled lightly, "loser". I was ready for her to let go of my hand, not being able to hold off feeling slightly disappointed. But she didn't. She didn't loosen the grip on my hand. She just returned her attention to the screen, keeping our hands firmly together.

If it was difficult not being distracted before, it was impossible now. My eyes and mind kept wandering to our intertwined hands and the possible motives as to why she was not letting go. I sat out the rest of the movie, trying to concentrate on the screen and not on the girl next to me, which was proven to be fairly difficult.

When the end credits started rolling over the screen, I turned my head to face Alison, who was already smirking at me. "Holding hands during a movie, just how cute are we ?", she joked, her eyes glistening with fun.  
I did my best not to be awkward, as Ali was being so… so casual. If only she hadn't said something like that and let us be in the moment, who knows what could have happened. But reality was reality so I just let out a chuckle and started gathering my stuff.

* * *

Once we were out of the feel-good room, we met up with the rest of our friends who had arrived by now.  
"Hey guys", Tim said, and then aimed his attention towards me. "How was the movie ?"  
Before I got a chance to answer, Ali jumped right between us in her classic, bubbly self: "It was hilarious, Emily started crying and by the end of the movie we both were a sobbing mess.". She started laughing and I joined in, although I tried to defend myself.  
"Hey ! It's a sad movie !". Everyone started snickering and I put up a pout.  
"And", Alison spoke up again, making sure she had everyone's attention before continuing, "we were like, holding hands the whole time, it was su-per cute. Y'all should have seen us." Everyone burst into laughter again and I pretended to be amused too.  
In reality, I felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife. _Ok so, if she jokes about it, it means for sure that there was nothing even remotely serious going on. Fine._

The second movie was about to start so we headed towards the horror room. "OK so, as we have agreed in the group chat, I'm sitting in between Tim and Ezra. And I'm gonna hold your hands.", Alison announced before we took our seats.  
I felt a sting of jealousy, but realized I just had to get over whatever it was that I was feeling, because this sure wasn't going to work. I didn't really look where I was going to, and ended up next to Pineapple – who is obviously not really called Pineapple. The real name of the tiny brunette was Aria, but literally no one from the club called her that.  
It was a funny story: during one of the first weeks from college, in the week where we would get baptized, there was a small party which was mandatory if you wanted to be baptized. The president of the club had instructed her (and only her) to come to that party dressed up as _something_. She had been completely free to choose in what she would dress up, so everyone assumed she'd be a pirate or whatever she could find in the closet of her little brother, but no. She arrived at the party as a pineapple. She'd made the costume all by herself and it was hilarious. And well, no one ever called her Aria after that.

On the other side of me was Toby, a nice but kind of weird guy. Nobody genuinely liked him, it was more like they just _tolerated_ him. People had been saying things about him but I tried to ignore it all and just see for myself what kind of person he was.  
Unfortunately, everyone had been right. Toby was just a not very likeable person. He tried to be funny, but wasn't and ended up hurting people, he was kind of pushy and thought he was indispensable, and he was just so… _Toby_. But as long as I didn't have to be with him for too long, I could manage and have fun with him.

Next to Toby then sat Ezra and then Alison and Tim. Tim was also sitting next to his girlfriend, Sarah, who was at the end of the row. The rest of our friends were sitting in the row behind us, and that's how we settled for the horror movie.

* * *

"Well, that movie sucked balls", Tim said loudly as we were heading towards the brain-breaker room to watch Interstellar.  
"Ugh, yeah.", Pineapple confirmed, "cheap story with even cheaper tricks to make you scared. Hopefully this one is a bit better."  
"You've never seen Interstellar ?", I asked. I knew Ali hadn't seen it, but I assumed she'd be the only one, since the movie was so famous.  
"No, never really had the chance. But I'm making up for it now, aren't I ?"  
"Sure thing, I'm proud of you, Pineapple", I chuckled as we arrived to the third room of the night.

We were a bit early and the room wasn't open yet, so we had to line up before the entrance. There were about five people standing in between me and Alison but I didn't make an attempt to get closer to her. She had barely looked twice at me since we got out of the first movie and didn't seem really bothered by it. She was in what seemed an interesting and funny conversation with Ezra so I just turned around and continued making small talk with Pineapple.

After a few minutes, someone arrived to put stamps on our paper, and the line became shorter. I saw Alison going in and knew there was no way I'd be sitting next to her for this movie. She was popular, everyone liked her, sure people would already be sitting next to her when I got in.

Even though nothing was really happening, I still felt as though I just got rejected. I felt my heart getting heavier and had to remind myself that Ali was just a friend, and would always be _just. a. friend._  
My paper got stamped and my feet slowly found their way inside, my mood being nothing like the one I left my dorm room with earlier.  
"So there you are, at last", I looked up to see a confident Alison watching me with a goofy grin. "Come on, let's find ourselves a seat !", she took my arm and basically dragged me into one of the empty rows.  
"Space enough here, so if we get tired we can just lay down, is this good for you ?" She asked while turning around at me.  
I was still completely taken aback by her actions that I only managed a "sure, fine", before I got in the chair and installed myself.

Alison was just being her normal cheery self and talked about everything and nothing while eating some of the candy we bought at the store earlier. _Is it really just me ? Am I really looking into things way too much ?_ Not that it really mattered because I knew that it was too late. My mind had already made up its mind (yes, a Fields is capable of that) and decided to forget everything I promised myself about getting over Alison.

Soon, the lights went out and Interstellar began playing on the screen. As Ali and I started getting comfortable in our chairs, her leg touched mine again. I took a deep breath and decided to just quit worrying and enjoy the moment for how long it lasted. And it lasted. She didn't even make an attempt to change the position of her leg. We caught each other's gaze again and she smiled. Not that playful little grin she normally had going on with her teeth bare, but a genuine, meaningful smile. I returned it and we returned our attention back to the movie in a comfortable silence.

* * *

After the movie, we all decided to just stay in the brain-breaker room for the last two movies as well. The films weren't so bad and everyone was too lazy to pack up to go to a different room.  
The fourth movie started playing and Alison clearly didn't care anymore as her tiredness took over (who can blame her, it was nearly 3am), and laid her head against my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile, the feeling that touch gave me was pure happiness. I knew it was all a big joke, she was merely a friend who was sleeping on another friend's shoulder, but I couldn't care less at that moment. I snuggled my head against hers and closed my eyes. _Maybe, just maybe, she does like me back._


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, I woke up just after noon and felt terribly lazy. I'd been up until 3 am again the night before, which had become a habit by now. I'd go to my bed at around midnight, but stay up roaming the internet until like 3 or 4 am. Then I'd finally go to sleep and only wake up around noon. It was unhealthy and I knew it, but honestly I didn't really care.

I got out of bed and made myself some lunch. It was a normal Tuesday for my parents so they were out working. My mom at the Police station of Rosewood and my dad at the Military Base of the town next to us, so I had the house all by myself until dinner. This was actually a good thing, since I could use the day to study, and no one would know, but I ended up laying on my bed for a whole afternoon. I did literally _nothing_ the whole day.

"Emmy ! I'm home !", I heard my mom yelling from down the stairs. I reluctantly got up and opened my bedroom door.  
"Hi mom, how was work ?"  
"Nothing special, what did you do all day ?"  
"Uhm. Nothing much, just enjoying my holidays", I quickly said.  
"I hope that means cleaning your room ? Have you seen what a mess it is ?", she quirked her eyebrow.  
"Mooooom, come on, it's not that bad. You make it sound as if World War 3 was held in here."  
"Well, it wouldn't look any different if that was the case. Listen, I want you to have cleaned your room before you leave tomorrow, okay ?"  
"What ? But mom I already have to pack my suitcase tomorrow !", I slightly started panicking internally. Not because it was so impossible to make a suitcase and clean my room in one day, but more because I was planning on studying tomorrow, there were only two days left before the exam.  
"Well, start cleaning now then. I mean it Emily, I'll personally come to look at your room before dad drives you to Philly tomorrow, and you're not leaving before I'm satisfied."  
I grunted an "all right", before I closed the door and threw myself back on the bed, instead of effectively starting to clean my room.

I started to wonder how it could all have come to this. In high school I was an exemplary student. I studied for about three hours a day, got my tasks ready a week before they were supposed to be turned in, and never did a test unprepared. I graduated magna cum laude and was the best of my class. But then college came.  
I guessed it was all the freedom that overwhelmed me. I could choose if I wanted to go to class or not. There weren't any tests anymore so I didn't necessarily have to study. And most of all, I was living by myself in a dorm, so I didn't have to ask anyone permission for anything.

I could go out every night if I wanted to, so why not ? I wanted to enjoy my time as a student, and convinced myself that I could handle my studies and a party life. It all went _that_ far, that the friends I made at the university didn't even believe me when I said that I used to study a lot and be prepared for everything.

And then the end of the semester neared and it was time to study for the exams. I'd promised myself to go all the way and study my ass off to make the grade for all my subjects, but that didn't happen… at all. Mostly I was just laying on my bed, doing nothing all day. Only when there was an exam the next day, I'd study, and even that was a joke. I'd start at 4 pm or later, took a break from 7 pm until like 11 pm, and then did some actually studying until 3 am.  
I didn't even study half of the things I was supposed to study and went to my exams quite unprepared. And the worst part of it was that I didn't even care.

The exams went always a lot better than expected, so I should've known there'd happen something to kind of punish me for my negligence. And it did.  
My third exam had been History, and the night before, I'd quickly read all the PowerPoint presentations from the professor before going to sleep.

 **I woke up from nothing in particular.** _ **Damn I'm tired**_ **, I thought as I opened my eyes slightly. I saw light coming from under my curtains and figured it wouldn't be long before my alarm would go off. I laid still for a few minutes, thinking about the big nap I was going to take after my exam.** _ **It must be almost time now**_ **, I thought to myself as I turned around and grabbed my phone.  
10:14. **_**10:14.**_ **My exam had started at 9:00. I blinked a few times, hoping that this bad dream would go away, but it didn't. 10:15. I had missed my exam. I, Emily Fields, had missed an exam. I stayed still, staring at my screen for a few more minutes. I had no idea what to do.**

Good thing that Tim did know what to do. He told me that I should go to a doctor and get a certificate that I was ill. That way, I would have been absent from the exam with a good reason, and I'd get a second chance for it a few weeks later.

It was one of the most scary things I'd ever done. My heart was racing the whole time, and while I sat in in the waiting room, I actually started to feel sick to my stomach because of all the stress.  
The doctor I met in Philly was luckily a very friendly woman, and believed me right away when I told her of my 'symptoms'. She actually even pitied me because I'd missed an exam since I was 'ill', and she wrote me a certificate saying that it was impossible for me to have gone to the exam.

The university gave me a second chance upon seeing the certificate, and scheduled a make-up exam. It ended up being on the last Friday before the holidays. It all could have gone way worse – try not getting the certificate or having the make-up exam on the same day as another exam – but it still sucked that it was the very last day possible. Now when everyone else was done, I'd still have one exam to go.

As I released a big sigh thinking back to all of that, I started wondering if I would have been better off with telling my parents. Then I wouldn't have to sneak around to be able to study, and they would motivate me.  
Then again, I would've never had the guts to tell them. My parents rooted for me all the time. They were there for me and supported me when studying got tough. And then the way they would talk about my grades to other people, a heart filled with pride and a face lit up of joy. I could never break them the news about what kind of a shit student I'd become. They would be angry, for sure, but most of all, they would be very disappointed in me and I couldn't handle that. I couldn't handle being seen as a failure so keeping my mouth shut was the best solution.

* * *

 _Thursday, 17:26_ my clock read as I opened my eyes after a small nap. I yawned and cursed at myself. "Nearly two days have passed and you still haven't done shit for your exam, which is, by the way, tomorrow !", I whisper-yelled at myself. It really was time to start now, no, it was already too late but I just had to save what I could.

Reluctantly I got up and took my laptop out. As I was opening the PowerPoints I had to study, I took a quick glance at my Facebook.

 **Event tonight at 9pm: "After exams drink !"  
Toby Cavanaugh and 12 other friends are going. **

That was the party I had told my parents about. Only I just lied a tiny little bit since I said it was Wednesday, but it really was planned on Thursday. Just a little white lie I told them so I could already go back to my dorm on Wednesday without questions being raised. I had planned to use whole Thursday to study and then maybe go say hi at the party, but decided to take an afternoon nap instead so there I was, lying to my parents again for nothing.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of trusting myself and promised Ezra, Pineapple and Tim that I'd at least drop in to say hello. With the exams and stuff it had been over a month that I'd seen them, and I'm not one to break any promises, so I told myself that I just had to grit my teeth for a few hours and study hard, then take a break and go to the party for half an hour, and then study again until 3am.

With that new found energy, I started studying with more motivation than I had in the past weeks, almost to the point that I was considering effectively not going to the party, when I got a text around 11pm.  
 **Were you still planning on going to the party ? 'Cause I want to talk to you. – Toby.  
** Kind of surprised and a bit worried – it was not like Toby to text me something like that – I answered him.  
 **Yeah I was going to come at midnight, why ? You all right ? Do I need to come any sooner ? – Em  
** He may not be the most likeable guy in the world, but that didn't mean I didn't care about him.  
 **Oh no, midnight is fine. Text me when you're there. – Toby  
** Even though I was quite concerned and curious, I got my attention back to the PowerPoints and studied for about an hour again. When the clock on my laptop struck 00:00, I closed it and got up. I changed my sweatpants for jeans, but didn't bother wearing anything else than a sweater. After getting some shoes on my feet and taking my jacket, I left my dorm for the short walk to the party.

The beats of the music flooded my ears as about five people flew towards me and pulled me in a hug.  
"Emily ! It's been so long !"  
"Hey Em ! How'd your exams go ?  
"Emily ? What are you doing here ? I thought you still had an exam tomorrow ?"  
"EMILYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !"  
"Yoo Ems, how are you doing ?"  
I laughed at their bubbliness and returned the hugs. "Heeeyyyy you guys ! What's up ?"  
We made some small talk and I smiled when I saw how genuinely happy everyone seemed to be. How could blame them ? Exams done, a week of holidays right ahead and now a night reuniting with friends and _finally_ being able again to get shit-faced drunk.

Then I remembered the text conversation I had with Toby, and asked Ezra if he'd seen him.  
"Toby ? I think he was outside a few minutes ago."  
"Oh okay, I'll go look for him there then", I flashed him a smiled as I made my way outside.

"Hey Toby, what's up ?", I asked him as I took a seat.  
"Oh hey Em, you're here !", he said, a bit surprised.  
"Yeah, told you I'd come. So what's going on ?"  
His smile faded a bit and he looked down. "Well it kind of sucks, Jenna got arrested by the police earlier today."  
At first I was confused. I knew Jenna was Toby's step-sister, but not that she was some kind of a criminal. "Huh what ? Why ?"  
"Well, apparently someone told the police that she smokes weed, she had to come in for questioning."  
"What that's ridiculous ! Why would anyone do that ?"  
Maybe a normal person would react a bit different, maybe more something like "Oh my god is she taking drugs ?", but that would be a total hypocritical reaction coming from me. It was just weed, and I smoked one too from time to time. Hell, I even did it with Toby most of the time.  
"I really don't know, but I'm feeling so sorry for her. I've been comforting her all afternoon, my mom wasn't so happy to hear."  
"Yeah sure, wauw I'm so sorry Toby", I said, really feeling bad for him – and of course his sister."  
"It's okay, I still have the stuff for our holiday and shit. I just wanted to let you know, since my mom is driving us to the airport. Immediately after she has to go with Jenna to the police so it's possible that she isn't going to be all that happy."  
"Oh right, well thanks for letting me know, and I really do feel sorry Toby, it really sucks for your sister."

We talked for a bit longer, but then I really had to say goodbye to everyone since I still had some studying to do. They all wished me a great ski trip, and a good exam the next day. Ezra said something about "slaying those bitches girl, you're soo gonna own that stupid exam. Good luck and see you soon baby."

* * *

I started lifting my heavy suitcase, I had to get off on the next stop. It was a real pain in the ass, using public transport when you're going on holiday. I couldn't help but be glad that Toby's mom wanted to drop me off. Imagine having to go to the airport in a bus, ugh.  
We halted and I sighed from relieve as I saw Toby standing at the stop. At least I wouldn't have to carry my luggage all alone now.

"Hey Em ! So how did it go ?", he asked with his signature smile that gave away he was actually laughing at you.  
"It went okay, thank you very much.", I retorted bitchy, as a response to his little smirk.  
"Must have sucked, an exam on the very last day possible… Oh but right, it was your own fault, wasn't it ? What happened again ?"  
I growled and handed him my heaviest suitcase. Not giving in on his teasing.  
"I'm just kidding, ready to go ?"

An hour or so later, Toby and I finally arrived to the airport. I thanked his mother for being so kind to drop me off and we went inside to meet up with Hanna and Alison.  
"Heey you guys !", I said as I hugged them both, "Ready to ski ?"  
"Ready as fuck", Hanna answered while putting her hair in a messy bun. "I'm _so_ done with school right now. I wanna get wasted and pass out in the couch."  
The four of us started laughing at Hanna's statement, with Alison's laugh echoing through half of the airport.  
"Okay well, let's check in then, before Hanna gets arrested for drinking in public", she chuckled and took her suitcases.  
" _Hey,_ I wasn't planning on getting wasted right _now_ ", Hanna defended herself as we all went to check in.

I breathed in deeply and felt a smile creep across my face. I hadn't overslept that morning, my exam went actually really good and I just _knew,_ this holiday was going to kick ass.

* * *

We still had some time before the plane left so we made ourselves comfortable in a lounge of the airport. Toby and Hanna sat on one couch while Ali and I sat right across them on another one. My eye fell on Hanna's hair and I smiled internally. She'd just made a very messy bun without looking in the mirror, and now half of her hair wasn't even included in the hairdo. Not that she noticed, she was too busy typing on her phone, probably texting her boyfriend Caleb.  
Actually, upon taking a second look the hair really fit the rest of her outfit. She was wearing a loose pink shirt with a knitted, woolen vest and grey sweatpants. She fit right in the picture with Toby, he was wearing a black hoodie with the red letters "University of Philadelphia" on it, and black sweatpants. _They could really be a couple of wanderers right now,_ I thought, smirking – and who could blame them ? We had a ten hour flight right before us and then a three hour bus ride before we'd get to La Plagne, the village where we'd be staying.

It's not like I was properly dressed anyway. I was wearing an ochreous sweater and black sweatpants myself, while my black hair slightly curled over my shoulders. I allowed myself to sneak a peek next to me, in my head _just to see what Ali is wearing_. I turned my head and was baffled by the perfect jawline I saw right before my eyes. Alison was chewing on a gum which made her clench her jaw every time she shewed and I swore I could watch that all day. She was focused on her phone as well, playing a game she was crazy about that included giving food to cats and accepting their presents. Her blonde hair was hanging over her right shoulder and it made me start thinking if I'd ever seen her with her hair in a ponytail or a bun, but I didn't think she ever did that if she could just let it loose. Not that I was complaining, her hair was always so silky and perfect, there was no need to put it in a ponytail or whatever.  
She was wearing black sweatpants as well, together with a black tank top and a green vest.

Suddenly her head jerked towards me and she caught my eye. I turned slightly red since she caught me quite blatantly staring at her, and I was just going to avert my eyes as she smiled softly at me. I smiled back and then she turned her head towards her phone again, at the same time as I averted my eyes and took my phone out as well.

* * *

"I don't think I asked you how your exam went yet ?", she started up a conversation while turning away from the magnificent view of the clouds.  
"No, I don't think you did either.", I answered slyly.  
She caught on my little game and decided to play along. "Do you think I should ?"  
"Only if you want to know the answer, it seems to me."  
"What if I don't, but I just want to pretend to be your friend and feign interest ?"  
"Well then, I suppose you should. Or I might get suspicious."  
"You have a point. So Emily, how did your exam go ?", she asked with a fake smile only she can produce.  
I looked at her with my mouth a bit curled up while she quirked an eyebrow, trying to keep from laughing. It only lasted a few seconds though, as we both started giggling from our stupid behavior.  
"No seriously Em, did it go all right ?", Alison asked as our laughter subsided.  
"Yeah actually, I think it was the best exam I did this period", I answered and we both started laughing again at the irony.

We'd been in the plane for a couple of hours now, and everyone was starting to get tired, except us, _so classic_. Next to us, on the other side of the aisle, were Toby and Hanna seated. Hanna basically fell asleep right after we took off, and Toby was just listening to music with his headphones on.  
 _God_ I was happy that I was sitting next to Alison, I don't think I would've survived sitting so long next to Toby. And although Hanna was real good fun too, I didn't have the same bond with her than with Alison – and the fact that Ali's leg had been touching mine ever since we took our seats, wasn't helping to change my opinion either. Every time we were talking, she'd turn into me slightly, so that our legs were touching more and our arms were touching too.

At first, my mind had been going blank, but then I reminded myself as to what I promised myself: _Let it go. Take what you can get and enjoy it._ So right then, I was just enjoying the touch and our conversations.

A little while later, we too, were getting tired and decided to try to sleep. I pulled out my earbuds as did she and we both closed our eyes while the tones of our favourite music started playing.  
I was always pretty horrible at sleeping in moving objects like planes, trains or buses. Mostly I'd just listen to some music with my eyes closed, trying to rest up a bit since sleeping wasn't going to work, and that day wasn't an exception. Sleep wouldn't come so I just tried to get myself as comfortable as possible, although there wasn't a hair on my head that thought about moving my left leg – the one that was touching her right leg.

After a couple of hours it was clear that I was the only one not sleeping in the plane, and I sighed a little bit. It was really hateful because there was literally nothing to do. I was trying to get into a more comfortable position as I suddenly felt a head laying down on my left shoulder. For a few seconds I was totally unable to move. My eyes were wide as I tried to take that in and it didn't exactly become easier as her arms moved towards my left arm and started hugging it. I nearly cried as I couldn't believe my luck. Deep inside I knew I was being very pathetic – the girl was _sleeping_ for god's sake – but that didn't stop the butterflies to explode in my stomach.  
 _Or was she awake ?_ Alison had told me that she was terrible at sleeping in planes too, so maybe she was just pretending to sleep ? It maybe was a crazy theory but I couldn't help but considering it, it was kind of hope-giving.

I felt the urge to rest my head against hers, to feel a bit more of her, but for some reason I didn't have the courage to do so. _She's sleeping, loser. She's not gonna notice it.  
But what if she isn't ?  
Then she went laying on you on purpose too. So why not then.  
Okay no she would never do that on purpose.  
Whatever you say. So she's sleeping. Just do it already.  
Okay but what if she wakes up and she's grossed out ?  
HELLO ! She's right now using you as a pillow and teddy bear. Why in the world would she be grossed out by that ?  
Because she's doing it in her sleep and I'm not.  
She doesn't have to know that. Your eyes are closed for fuck's sake.  
_There was no argument left anymore, I had literally no excuses to not do it, so I took all my courage and rested my head against hers. It felt so amazing, certainly because she tightened her grip on my left arm as soon as I touched her. I couldn't help but give her arm a little squeeze of reassurance. It was stupid because she was asleep but it just felt so right.

Immediately I forgot about all the groaning I'd done after hearing the flight was _10 hours_ long. 10 hours even seemed quite short right now.


	4. Chapter 4

**This was the last chapter I had already finished, and with a holiday and exams coming up, it will probably take a bit longer than a week to update. But I'll do my best to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.**

 **Also, if you feel like leaving a review, don't hesitate. As I've stated before, this story is -for the most part- real, so I would love to hear your thoughts on the story.  
Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy !**

* * *

I inhaled deep as I stared out of the open window of my dorm. The view was everything but something to be proud of – if you can call the back of apartment buildings a view to begin with. The neighbourhood in which my dorm was situated wasn't exactly the most wealthy part of Philadelphia. It consisted mostly of grey, ugly apartment buildings and old houses that were redone as dorm rooms.

Right in front of me, one floor below was a roof that was still from my building. It would be pretty cool if we were actually allowed to go on there, so it would be sort of a terrace. But apparently the roof wasn't all that solid. Bullshit, in my opinion. The freaking emergency exit was on the other side of that roof. If there would be a fire or something, we _had_ to walk over it. But that was none of my business, of course.

I shivered slightly, _damn it's cold_. I took a last puff of the joint and passed it to Noel, who took my place by the window. Happy to be out of the cold, I dropped on my bed. Because of the fire alarm, it was necessary to stand by the open window while smoking, and that was _fucking cold_ in winter months.

I felt myself getting pretty high now that I wasn't trying not to freeze. Smiling softly in myself, I closed my eyes, enjoying the music.  
"You going all right ?", Toby asked eyeing me from the couch he sat in.  
"yeaaaaaaa", I dragged out in a monotone voice. _Toby has to shut up._ I Miss You from Blink-182 was playing, one of my favourite songs of my favourite band. That, and music hits you ten times harder when you're high. _Mmmhhhhhhhh_

"Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head", Noel hummed along. _She IS the voice inside my head. I wish she knew. Or maybe not. I just want to kiss her. Kiss her and show her how much I could love her. I could love her so much better than anyone else._  
These weren't exactly the thoughts I normally had. I wasn't that _desperate_ , but my head was feeling very light at that moment and I couldn't care less about how bad it was to have them.

"Here Toby", Noel said a bit later as he passed him the blunt. He let himself fall on the bed right next to me with a long "ooooof". He looked at me with his typical 'I'm so high right now'-smile and I laughed at him.  
"You are so terrible", I chuckled. "Even a blind man could see that you're fucking stoned right now"  
"Speak for yourself. Have you looked in the mirror lately ?" The three of us started laughing.

Meanwhile, another song had started playing: Sweets (Soda Pop) from Fox Stevenson. It had a nice beat and we just were bobbing our heads to the music.  
"Do you want the last, Em ?", Toby asked lifting the joint. It was a kind of unspoken rule that the one from whom the weed was, got the last drags. I, however, wasn't a real fan of that last part so I shook my head.  
"No you go, I'll roll a new one". Then I realized there was no way I was getting up off my bed anytime soon. "Or no wait. You roll a new one, I'm too lazy."

"Ok, sure", he answered and Noel chuckled. I wasn't sure if he was laughing at my comment, or at the fact that Toby always did what I asked him. _Whatever, as long as he rolls._  
Toby put out the joint and took a seat behind my desk to roll a new one.

A new song started playing, Starships from Nicki Minaj. Toby groaned and reached for my laptop to change it, but as I saw his hand moving, my head snapped up. "Don't", I said firmly.  
"Do you seriously like _Nicki Minaj_?"  
"I do like this song, brings out memories."  
Toby shrugged and went back to rolling the joint.

 _Starships, were meant to fly_

 _Hands up, and touch the sky_

And what kind of memories. Everything else shut off as I thought back to when I was 15, on a nice, warm day in April.

* * *

" **So where are we going ?", I asked my tall friend anxiously as she took out two bikes from the garage of her house.  
"the Aa, a small river just outside of town. There is a nice spot there, barely people who pass, so no snoopers."  
"Okay cool, so uhm. You have the stuff, right ?", to say I was nervous was an understatement. I had the bad habit of always thinking the worst would happen, which made me always overthink things a thousand times. Thinking about it, maybe it wasn't a bad habit after all, seeing that I always had watertight plans. But even then, I couldn't help but think of everything that could possibly go wrong.  
"Yeah I got it right here", she tapped on her left pocket of her jean shorts.**

" **Spencer !", someone called from inside the house. We scared up and turned our heads and saw Mrs. Hastings approaching us with a bag. "Here I have some cookies and some water and a bottle of iced-tea. It's hot today so make sure you drink enough."  
"Thanks, mom", Spencer said as she took the bag from her mother. **

**Mrs. Hastings smiled fondly at her and then turned her attention to me. "Emily, dear, so good to see you ! It's been a while, hasn't it ? You look great !"  
I awkwardly smiled at her and mumbled an "hi" and "thank you" back.  
"Why don't you stay for dinner tonight ? You two barely see each other, you need more time to catch up !"  
I smiled at her. "Thank you, Mrs. Hastings, I'd love to."  
"Just call me Veronica, dear." **

**She was right after all. Spencer and I didn't really see each other that much. I'd met her at a summer camp the summer before. We'd met the first day and we immediately bonded. It was like I'd found my soulmate – and she exactly was that. The holiday only lasted ten days though, and it sucked balls having to say goodbye because she lived on a forty-minute drive from Rosewood.  
We both had busy lives so it wasn't all that easy to meet up a lot, but we really tried to keep contact and see each other as much as possible.**

* * *

 **So there we were, it indeed was a nice little place, next to the river. Occasionally, a canoe would sail by, but other than that it was really quiet. We settled down on our towels and started sunbathing a little while catching up. Spencer had a little boombox with her so we had a bit of music in the background. I was feeling quite anxious about what was going to come though. I wanted to do it, really, but it was just so… so** _ **adventurous**_ **and, and, and** _ **bad.**_

" **Do you know how to roll ?", she suddenly asked me.  
"Uhm, no. Don't you ?", it wasn't Spencer's first time, I knew. So I had just been assuming that she knew how to do it.  
"No". I was wrong.  
We looked at each other and started laughing. This was so classic. **

" **Okay so what now ?", she started asking, as suddenly her face brightened. "Wait, I got it. Do you have any cigarettes on you ?"  
As a matter of fact I did. It wasn't like I smoked or something, but I occasionally did it at parties or whenever I was with Spence. So I nodded and her smile went even brighter.  
"Okay, so we take a cigarette, remove the tobacco, then mix the tobacco with the weed and then put it back in the cigarette." It actually was quite clever.  
"Guess we could try". Spencer gave me my purse and I took out a cigarette.  
I gave her the cigarette and she started taking the tobacco out with a little stick she found on the ground. **

**After a good fifteen minutes, we'd made a joint out of a cigarette and found ourselves staring at it. I really was anxious now, and was waiting until Spence would take the lead and light it up.  
"Hey, put up a good song, will you", she asked me nodding to her boombox while taking out a lighter. She lit up the joint and I scrolled through her music, my nerves getting the better of me as I put up the first song that looked familiar.**

 _ **Let's go to beach, each**_

 _ **Let's go get a wave**_

 **Spencer chuckled as she passed me the joint. "This song reminds me of our summer camp".  
I took the blunt from her and stared at I while responding. "Yeah, me too, those were the good times". I took my very first hit of a joint and started coughing a bit. Although I'd smoked cigarettes before, this still was a bit different. After inhaling a few times though, it went better and I started feeling what one would describe as 'high'. I passed the joint back to Spencer as I started enjoying this 'high'. It made me feel light-headed and I could help but smile as I felt my eyelids becoming slightly heavier. **

**Spencer passed me the joint again and as I took a hit, I turned my head to look at her. She had the same goofy smile plastered on her lips as I had, and she looked at me with a quirked eyebrow.  
"It feels nice, huh ?"  
"Yeah, it does", I affirmed while inhaling again.  
"Oh shit I don't like this song", Spencer whined after a new song started playing.  
"Why don't you just put Starships on repeat ?", I proposed with a wide smile.  
Spencer seemed to find that the best idea ever produced, so she took her phone and put the song on repeat.**

* * *

 _ **We're higher than a motherfucker !**_

 **Spence and I were laying on our towels, enjoying the sun and the song that was still blaring from the boombox. We caught each other's gaze and took a moment to look in each other's red, little eyes, before we burst into laughter.**

 **It was a full ten minutes before we were composed enough again to eye each other again. Not that that was a very good idea – as soon as our eyes locked, we started all over again.  
"You know what ?", Spencer giggled, "we should take a swim". **

"Earth to Emily", Noel laughed waving his hands right before my eyes.  
"Huh what ?", I snapped out of it and turned to look at my two friends.  
"I'm done rolling, you wanna light it ?", Toby asked as he handed me the nicely rolled blunt.  
"Uh sure", I took the joint from him and got up from my bed. Slightly disorientated, I noticed that there already was another song playing. It was something drum 'n bass-ish, probably Netsky.

When the room finally stopped spinning, I walked up to the window and lit the joint. Noel and Toby were having a small conversation, so I let my mind wandering again to _her_ again. How she always could diffuse tension and say something funny. How she could always make you laugh with the impossible stories she tells. How her dimples would show when she had that cheeky grin going on.

I took one last drag and passed the blunt over to Toby as I fell on my spot on the bed again. _That last drag has been a bit too much,_ I thought as I found myself spinning and barely being able to keep my eyes open. Not that I really minded, this high was good to forget about what was important.  
What actually _was_ important ? I couldn't see the line anymore, so I started talking without thinking.

"You know guys, I want to tell you something.", the two boys stopped talking and looked at me expectantly. "It's just, I want you to keep it between us. Don't go telling."  
"Yeah, sure.", they both promised me without hesitation.  
"I think I…", now that the moment was there, I really had no idea how to actually say it. I was still feeling quite dizzy. But it seemed as if my mouth wasn't listening to my brain. "I think I might like girls." _Shit. Did I just actually say that._

* * *

It was a few days later that I found myself in the most pure state of bliss possible. That night, my club organized a 'cantus'. It was something typical from the university of Philadelphia. It was an event, organized by the different clubs of the university, that basically consisted of singing together and drinking. And well, that time, it was my club that organized it. That also meant that the freshmen of the club were obligated to come, and drink. _A lot._

Not that that was the reason of me being in such a state of bliss, no, not at all. It was the text message that Alison had sent me that noon.  
 _Hey Em, my brother isn't coming to our cantus after all. Can I maybe crash with you tonight ? – Ali.  
_ I really had to contain myself to not go dancing around. I answered a quick _'sure, no problem'_ and fell down on my bed with a wicked smile.  
Not that I had a lot of time to dream. I had a class starting in half an hour so I had to get up anyway.

When I opened the door of my campus, my heart jumped upon seeing Alison's long, blonde hair in the hall. She was standing with some friends from class, including Hanna and Pineapple, and seemed to be explaining something very funny.  
"Hey guys", I made some kind of waving movement with my hand as I approached them.  
"Sup Em, ready for tonight ?", Alison asked me with twinkling eyes full of mischief.  
I raised my eyebrows and smirked. "Girl, I was born ready. The purpose of my life is to get hammered."  
Everybody laughed and Hanna added: "Why does that not surprise me at all ?"  
" _You_ better watch your mouth, Hanna," I replied turning to her. "If I recall correctly, you were the one that has done more than one trip to the hospital because of excessive alcohol abuse."  
She looked at me with fake hurt but couldn't find a retort to that. "Still love you though", I chipped before I turned around and started walking to class.

I was scrolling through 9gag on my phone and yawned widely. _Remind me again why I came to class today._ I'd muted the professor out ever since she'd started talking about an hour ago. It was English and the subject of the day was 'different uses of adjectives'. _Who the fuck cares._ I for sure couldn't bring myself to, and so I had pulled out my phone and tried to keep myself a bit entertained.  
I wasn't the only one who was bored out of her mind though. On my right was Pineapple, sketching a trey of fruits – which was very detailed, the girl knew how to draw – in her books instead of taking notes. On my left sat (who could've guessed) Alison, playing some games on her laptop and by the look of it, the rest of the row wasn't really paying attention either. They were either on their phones or just staring blatantly at the professor without taking in anything that she was explaining.

After another hour, class was finally over and I found myself in the hall with Alison, Hanna and Pineapple. "I'm gonna go you guys, I still have dinner to prepare and we only got like 2 hours before we have to be at the cantus."  
"We should get going too, Em." Ali said, nudging my shoulder.  
"Yeah I'm leaving as well." Hanna chimed in, "See you guys tonight ?"  
"Yep, see you tonight !" We said goodbye and Alison and I took the bus to my dorm room.

* * *

A good two hours later, all the freshmen of the club were standing at the front door of the café where the cantus would be. Almost everyone was there: Ezra, Noel, Toby, Tim, Sarah, Pineapple, Hanna, Alison and a bunch of others that I hadn't really gotten to know yet. The club members finished getting everything ready and we were allowed in. I was trying to stay as close as possible to Alison and Hanna, so I could fetch a place to sit next to them, but the president of our club thought different about that.

"Hey Emily, hold on a sec.", she said tapping my shoulder. "Could you give me a hand with this table please ? I have to place it a bit more to the right but it's way too heavy."  
"Or you're just weak as a snail, Sophie." I smirked as I turned around to help her.  
"Shut up or I'll make sure you get beer with chili sauce in it."  
I chuckled and made my way to the rest of my friends after I helped Sophie move the table.

By the looks of it, there only was place to sit at the very end of the table, What did I expect. Alison was sitting at the middle of the table, across from Hanna. On her left side was Ezra and on her right Toby. She made eye contact with me as I made my way towards the end of the table and mouthed a sorry, followed by an eye roll and a subtle nod towards Toby. I smirked and rolled my eyes too, _so typical.  
_ It was no secret that Toby had a thing for Alison. He followed her around everywhere and always wanted to be close to her and did everything for her if she just snapped her fingers. But she was so out of his league that it was actually pitiful.

With a thud I threw myself on the bench, next to Noel. It looked like I was going be the end of the table, with only Noel next to me and Sheila in front of me. I didn't really know the girl, but she seemed fun and outgoing so I felt like it could be a nice night after all. I started chatting with Noel and her, and soon enough the cantus started and the first song resounded through the café as we drank our beers and chanted along.

* * *

I blacked back in at the sound of my phone, ringing. A bit disoriented, I picked it up. It was Toby.  
 _"Hey Em, where the hell are you ?"_

I squinted my eyes. _Why is he asking me ? I'm right here_.  
"I'm outside the bookstore, duh. Where the fuck are you guys ?"

" _The bookstore ? What in the world are you doing there ? Hurry your ass back up here, everyone is looking for you. And wasn't Alison supposed to sleep at your dorm ?"_

 _Shit yeah Ali, why has she left me too ?  
_ "Uhm yeah, is she with you ? And where the hell are you guys anyway ?

" _At the café where the cantus was, and yeah she's still here, but hurry up you better take her home."_

 _Why the fuck are they there, it doesn't make any sense. And what is even going on with Ali ?  
_ "Okay I'm on my way."

A bit confused I followed my feet to the café. When I arrived, I saw some familiar faces looking quite relieved, although I had no idea why.  
Toby came running up to me: "Thank god Emily, why in the world were you at the bookstore ? After the cantus you just ran off or something, nobody saw you afterwards."

I didn't even know what was true and what not anymore. I blinked my eyes a few times but ultimately I couldn't remember how I ended up at the bookstore in the first place so I decided to just let it go.  
"I don't know. Is Alison here ? She's supposed to sleep with me."

Toby raised his eyebrows, he was clearly not as wasted as I was. "Right there on the bench.", he pointed towards a bench with two people on.  
I composed myself as much as I could and started walking towards it. As I approached, I saw Alison sitting on the left, her arms wrapped around a bucket and she seemed to be talking complete bullshit. The person next to her was a member of the club, who was taking care of her.

"Hey guys, Ali, I'm here."  
"SO THERE YOU ARE, YOU SON OF A B-BITCH", she hiccupped. I giggled, Alison was freaking wasted.  
"You been throwing up again ?", I asked amused. But before she could compose an answer, a new fit of nausea hit her and she bent over her bucket.  
"We found her during the last part of the cantus on a toilet.", Shannon, who was sitting next to Ali , clarified. "She should go to sleep but we couldn't find you immediately."  
"Yeah I'm sorry. I was…" _what actually was I doing ?_ "taking a walk."  
"YOU KNOW, I THINK POLICE CARS ARE PAINTED REALLY UGLY", Alison suddenly came in between, all but yelling. I gave Shannon a look and started laughing, wondering where that random comment came from.

"You might wanna tone it down Alison, they're gonna hear you if you keep yelling." _Wait, who was they ?_ I looked up and saw to my surprise a police car, parked a few meters ahead of us.  
"WHAT, IT'S TRUE. IF THEY'D ONLY LET ME PAINT THEM. SOMETHING WITH FLOWERS… OR TRIANGLES ! BUT YEAH I BET THEY WON'T LET ME. POLICE, YOUR FRIEND, BUT NOT MINE. HELL TO THE NO." Shannon and I couldn't contain our laughter anymore as we tried to keep Alison quiet.

"Maybe it's best if you just put her to bed, before we get problems with the cops. Is it a far walk to your dorm ? I'll help you get Alison there."

* * *

And that had been a very good idea. Alison didn't want to leave without the bucket, so Shannon and I ended up almost carrying her through the streets because walking wasn't really working, while she was holding tight to her bucket and talking about police cars.

When we finally arrived at my dorm after taking 20 minutes longer than normally needed, I thanked Shannon for her help and got Alison to my room on the second floor without any problems. I was still pretty wasted too, but the whole 'being responsible' thing had sobered me up a little bit.

"Sooooooo", Alison began. "I don't really have a sleeping bag and shit with me so I'll just join you in your bed.", she said with a wicked smile as she jumped on my single bed.  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Prayers were overheard and dreams were coming true.  
"Sure", I quickly changed into a loose shirt and shorts to sleep in.  
"I'll sleep on the outside, in case I'll have to throw up again", she was sitting with a pot of leftover pasta on her knees, spitting in it. "I hope you were not going to eat that anymore."

I rolled my eyes and climbed over her to my part of the bed. "You can throw up in that pot, I don't care, as long as you don't do it on me."  
Ali laughed, "I'll try", she said cheekily.

We settled in and it was clear that there was only one way to sleep comfortably in that small bed: spooning. Alison was already laying with her back towards me, and I was too drunk to really bring it up, so I scooted over a little bit and slightly wrapped my arms around her. I felt her breathing steadily and figured she already fell asleep. I smiled lightly at the thought and closed my eyes as well.  
With every breath I took, I could smell Alison's perfect scent. _This is something I could go to sleep to every night._


End file.
